Couple Reviews

I finished up

yesterday and it was a great read. I'm not going to review it anymore here, as it already has a well-written review by

Jennifer Ivey

on her website http://www.jenniferivey.com/. She most certainly does the book justice. I also finished reading

I really enjoyed the beginning of the book, as Kevin Smith is a favorite person of mine and it was pretty cool to get a glimpse into his everyday life. It did get quite monotonous, however, as it turns out that his life is usually just as "boring" as most of ours. Sure, he hangs out with Ben Affleck every once in awhile, but he's usually just going to get take-out Quizno's and playing rummy with his wife and daughter. If you don't really care about the day-to-day happenings of the Smith family, you should still try to find a way to read the section "Me and My Shadow" where he details his struggles in trying to help Jason Mewes kick heroin. It's a great read for anyone who has ever tried to help a friend or love one kick an addiction and really exemplifies the fact that you can never help someone who does not want to help himself. Plus, it ends happily, as Mewes is, to the best of my knowledge, still heroin-free today.

Snack Money

Something weird happend the other night. It was around 11:30 p.m. when I saw a shadow move across the window looking out onto my front porch. This was swiftly followed by a hard knock at the door. As I don't exactly live in the safest neighborhood, this was a little alarming. I walked over to the window to see who it was. I saw a young, innocent-looking guy that I definitely did not know standing patiently at the door. I cracked it a bit in case four or five other guys were hiding somewhere out of sight and ready to barge the door.

Me: "Can I help you?" (Or something to that effect).

He did not speak, but he did hand me a small note.

Small note: "I need three dollars for a snack."

I am not making this up. I looked a little more closely at the guy. He did have a sort of "off" look to him. I began to think that he must be mute and was obviously in need of help. I began to reach in my pockets to see if I had anything to spare. I was stopped quickly by a voice of reason (unfortunately not mine, as I am often a giant idiot).

Voice of Reason: "What are you doing? You can't give him any money!"

Me (Brainless Wonder): "Why not? He seems kind of off."

Voice of Reason: "You cannot go knocking on the door of a complete stranger's house at 11:30 at night and ask for money. I don't care what's wrong with you. If nothing else, it's not safe for him to be doing it. You absolutely cannot encourage this type of behavior."

Me (Slowly Coming Around): "You are absolutely right."

Me (To our late night visitor): "I'm sorry. I can't help you."

He gives me a little okay sign, I cut the porch light off, and my night slowly returns back to normal. I've thought about this incident quite a bit over the last couple of days, and I have come to some conclusions. Well, mostly just one conclusion.

1. I will never give money to panhandlers again.

Well, this does come with an amendment.
Amendment A: Rule 1 is null and void if said panhandler is missing an appendage. I simply am a sucker for a lost limb. I just feel like these people show an obvious need, so I always feel worse if I do not help them.

ANYWAY, I am not a bad person for not wanting to perpetuate this panhandling business. I like to help people. I just don't think that dropping money on someone just sitting on the street asking for it is helping. I used to. I'm starting to understand that giving someone some change at that moment does nothing more than just make you feel a little better about yourself for a few moments. It's the absolute least you can do. You have no idea if that bit of money will help them, or if they will use it to further dig themselves in a drug or alcohol hole. It's like sticking an "I Support the Troops" bumper sticker on your car and leaving it at that. If you supplement your bumper sticker with some Care Packages over to Iraq, a donation to the VFW hospital, a letter to a friend or family member serving, etc....then, yes, you support the troops. If you don't do anything but stick a bumper sticker on your car, the only thing you are supporting is the bumper sticker industry.

There are many organizations right here in Asheville that are set up to help people in need. Habitat for Humanity, The Asheville Homeless Network, The Salvation Army, Spare Change for Real Change and Homeward Bound are but a few places where people work hard every day and volunteer a lot of time to help these people. They need and deserve your support and I know that every dime you give them goes to help the greater good. These are the organizations that will get my "snack money" from now on. I really believe that it is the only way to make a real difference.

World Champ

C.E.D. Hendersonville is now home to the HVW World Champion, and proud we are.

FOOTBAPOCALYPSE

It's official. It just sunk in. It's taken six days, but I'm ready to deal with this. Tom Brady is out for the rest of the season. He only made it 8 minutes this year. It happend on this play:

If you want to see something that makes my stomach turn, here it is:

I can basically kiss this NFL season goodbye. Our defense is just average and our backup QB (Matt Cassel) has not started a football game since high school. There's still some talent on offense, but this looks really bleak. I am thus far undefeated in two fantasy leagues, but it's a small consolation to losing your favorite player for the season 8 freaking minutes into it. I wish I could turn to the college ranks to make myself feel better, but Michigan looks completely awful. We will be lucky if the game against Notre Dame even finishes today. I'm not sure that either team knows enough football to fill four quarters. My new team, Clemson, on which I sprung for season tickets, started out the year ranked in the top ten and then proceeded to be embarassed on national television by Alabama. Possibly the only thing worse than losing a million hand in foot games in a row to Bo Ivey is having his team throttle yours as a major underdog in the first game of the year. He has shown remarkable restraint following this victory, as I have not (yet) been subjected to any type of taunts regarding this calamity. I would have been down at the zoo taking pictures of me feeding the Tigers old Bear Bryant hats by now. Roll tide indeed.

Silence is Golden

I made a bet with Fix that went like this: the first person to cut his hair had to have his head completely shaven by the other guy in the store. We made it a couple of months, before coming to a gentlemanly agreement on Monday to go get it cut at the same time. I've always felt nostalgic for the old-school barber shops:

I'm not sure why. I used to go to the old barber shop in Sylva with my Grandpa when I was little. It really freaked me out more than anything. All these gossiping old men scared the crap out of me. This being my only real experience with vintage haircutting, I'm not quite sure where the nostalgia comes from. I just know that it is there. Alas, Fix and I were not headed to the barber shop, but to the local Smartcuts or Costcutters or Scissors Palace or whichever one of those is the one next to Harris Teeter. We sat patiently waiting our turn and discussing which "stylist" we would probably get. This is very important when you are like me and you don't have a "stylist" that you use every time. I always go to one of the cheap, cookie cutter places and I get someone different every time. And I always wonder what the conversation is going to be like. It usually begins awkwardly, peaks about the time the protective apron is wrapped around you, and finally staggers to the finish line right when my neck is being trimmed up. It always feels so forced. I consider myself a pretty friendly, outgoing person. I've had several stylists that have also seemed this way. Somehow, though, it's always awful. I wish you could just slip on some headphones and they would wake you when its over.

Fix and I had the field narrowed down to two choices: a young, chipper, alternative looking fellow and and older, slightly mean looking lady who we were pretty sure was whispering to another stylist about us repeatedly when we first came in. I got the guy. He turned out to be okay. As my hair is very simple and difficult to screw up, the conversation is all I'm ever worried about. This guy was definitely a talker. In the first 30 seconds we had talked about cosmetology school, the apple festival, the fair, his hometown, and his girlfriend. I later learned that he was part of a band that was attempting to draw influence from both

Johnny Cash

AND

I'm not sure if he got this idea after hearing Johnny Cash cover a Trent Reznor song or if that's just the best example he had, but I'd be interested in hearing the result. After all, Cash's cover of "Hurt" is one of the best songs I have ever heard. Definitely up there with "All Along the Watchtower" as one of the best covers of all time. Anyway, as interesting as this was, I'd still take the headphones. I don't think it makes me a bad person. People should never engage in forced conversation. He was a human chatterbox, so it may not have been forced for him. It definitely was for me. This is not to say that I would prefer silence (this is what happend to Fix, who did get stuck with the mean old lady). A polite greeting and quick discussion about the upcoming job is all you need. It's just like when you run into a guy you had a class with in high school. You stop for a sec, say hi, and go on your merry way. It's better for everybody, especially those of us who have never committed to a "stylist."

Some Reviews

I never realized how important librarians were. I always just sort of pictured them sitting behind the desk, checking out your books, and administering late fees. I could never understand why you needed a Master's Degree to do that. Then I read

Scott Douglas really opened my eyes to how much good a quality librarian can be to a community. He has so many stories of people he helped, from feeding hungry kids to helping someone craft a resume to being a good friend to some older patrons who lacked company in their lives. He tells his stories in a swift moving, humorous way that never comes across as self-righteous. He did not speak highly of the Master's program he had to take to become an official librarian. It seems that my suspicions were somewhat founded. I do feel like a Master's is necessary in this field, but should concern itself more with psychology or group dynamics than the Dewey Decimal system. I followed this up with

Yes, that is Hugh Laurie from "House." I was a little skeptical of this novel based on that fact, but it turns out that Mr. Laurie can write really well. He wasn't just given a free ride based on his cable television fame. This book is funny, suspenseful, and, best of all, full of British humor and dialogue which I love. The plot is well thought out and quite complicated. This will definitely become a movie soon. I can only hope that Simon Pegg will star in it. Moving from print to the big screen, Ivey and I watched

yesterday. I liked it. It's not my favorite Woody Allen film (that honor goes to "Anything Else"), but it definitely has his touch all over it. I was a little annoyed by the two female leads, Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson, for playing the "I just don't know what I want" role a little too much. Javier Bardem starts off as kind of a sleaze, but he really comes off pretty well. One of my favorite aspects of this film was how Allen gave more than usual depth to Chris Messina's charachter, Doug. He could have portrayed him as the one-dimensional New York businessman, all money and gadgets and conservative leanings, but he manages to get out quite a few intelligent, well-spoken lines and really leans the audience more into his corner. Penelope Cruz was totally amazing and by far my favorite character in the film. You will think about this one for awhile after it is over, as Woody never gift wraps and ending for us, which I really like. It's not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.