Songs that make you say............

I feel like, at this point in my life, I understand real heartbreak. Well, romantic heartbreak anyway. I'm a never-married guy pushing 30 and I've had my share of break-ups, each seemingly worse than the last. I don't know that I could have truthfully said my heart had completely been broken until this last one. I'm talking real heartbreak. The kind that you can't seem to wrap your head around. The kind that just doesn't make any damn sense to you. The kind where you feel like you must have done something wrong to deserve this type of karmic punishment. James Earl Jones once said that "one of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." Luckily for us, there are plenty of musicians out there who can utter them for us. I've compiled a personal top 10 list to get you through some different stages during this tough time. Here are the first five and an intermission. Enjoy.

Number 10



Live- "Lightning Crashes"

WHEN TO USE: IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE BREAK-UP

-This may seem like a strange choice, but let me explain. I had just gotten this cd back in 1994 as a freshman in high school right before I found out that my new girlfriend was seen making out with some other guy down at Mark Watson Park. Originally believing this to be untrue, I called her. Upon finding out from her that it was true, I listened to "Lightning Crashes" over and over again for probably two weeks. It helped in it's weird, sad way. Had I known that the band wrote the song for a friend of theirs who was killed by a drunk driver and then donated her organs to a 10 month old baby to keep it alive, I may have gained some valuable life perspective on what really matters and how unimportant this incident would be in ten years. However, not knowing that, 13 year old me continued to wallow in self-pity, hitting the repeat button on this song until I started high school and met some other girls who would do far worse than elociN (name reversed to protect the innocent) did.

Number 9


Drive-By Truckers- "A World of Hurt"

WHEN TO USE: AS SOON AS YOU GET TIRED OF "LIGHTNING CRASHES"


-Okay, you're still pretty early on with this thing. Food doesn't taste right. The sun doesn't seem to rise as high in the sky as it used to. You can't even distract yourself properly. Anything you once liked, you now despise. No, you don't want to go out with your friends. No, you don't need a new book. No, you have no desire to see that movie even though you heard it was amazing. You just want to be alone with your sorrowful thoughts and self-pity. There's nothing wrong with that. Wallow away to the sound of Patterson's voice telling you that you don't need to buy a whore or kill yourself, that (if you hang around long enough and pay attention) it can actually be "great to be alive." You won't believe that right now, but you need to hear it.

Number 8


Red Hot Chili Peppers- "Under the Bridge"

WHEN TO USE: WHEN YOU WENT TOO FAR

-I don't know what you did, and I don't need to know. Maybe you left a mean message on her blog. Bad, but not terrible. Maybe you called one of her best friends to see if she's seeing somebody new. Borderline creepy and stalker-ish. Maybe you drove over to her house at midnight and knocked on the door after seeing another car there. Restraining order territory. It doesn't matter what you did. You're hurting. We all do things we wish we could take back. After your "incident" you are going to feel very alone. You will have nobody to help you. You're too embarassed with what you've done to even tell your friends the story. You will never feel the words to "Under the Bridge" more than you will at this point in your life. It will speak to you. While you are listening and coming to grips with your mistake, it may help you to think that Anthony Keidis was renting cheap motel rooms and shooting up with heroin all alone during some of his prime rock star years. Like I said, we've all felt alone and we've all done things we wish we could take back. Keep your head up.

Number 7


T.I.-"Dead and Gone"

WHEN TO USE: WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING GOOD AFTER YOUR "INCIDENT"


-Okay, so you messed up. You're feeling down. You need to turn that around. As soon as you do something positive, keep that good feeling going with "Dead and Gone." Maybe you made it to the gym every day this week. Maybe you finally started that novel. Maybe you helped an old lady cross the road. Whatever it is, use it to help yourself get over your previous stalker/loser incident. "Dead and Gone" is all about washing away old sins and starting fresh, and that's just what you need right now. So, get your rap on and when Justin Timberlake hits those squeaky high notes, just know that he's singing about you. You're a new person. Thrust your chest out and get out there to face the world again.

Number 6


Lucero- "Nights Like These"

WHEN TO USE: WHEN YOU FIND OUT SHE'S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE


-This, my friends, is a tough one. I know you just started fresh with T.I., but this will bring you crashing back down faster than you ever thought possible. That's the problem with real heartbreak. It's a roller coaster. Extreme highs and extreme lows. You are gonna need Ben Nichols' scratchy voice and sad lyrics to get you through the next few days. He sings like he's been there before. Hell, he sings like he LIVES in agony and you're just a visitor stopping by for a short visit. Once you hear the depravity in that gravelly voice you will have to instantly feel a little better about yourself. His voice says that he's been places you don't want to go, and he's still here. It's the kind of message you can use right now.

INTERMISSION

-Do yourself a favor and youtube "Everyday Normal Guy" by Jon Lajoie. You will be glad you did.